all the single ladies
NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
hey ladies, it's me, your (usually) friendly neighborhood single woman.
I recently -celebrated- my 2 year anniversary of being single a few days ago...and let me just say, it's been a crazy couple of years. full of awkward dates, great kisses, and a ton of self exploration.
what i've discovered is that being single is freakin' rad as heck...and here's 10 reasons why:
1. You never have to share your fries with anyone.
2. You learn so much about yourself.
yes, you do learn a lot about yourself when you're in a relationship, but you discover who you are without anyone else around when you're not in one. you learn how to deal with loneliness and that's something that I don't think a lot of people ever figure out. A lot of people will spend so much time in a relationship trying to get to know as much as they can about the other person that they fail to get to know themselves as well.
i've learned a ton about myself these past couple of years. i've learned that I need to cut people some slack more often, I can't tie a cherry stem no matter how hard I try, boyfriends can't cure loneliness, and that my friends are probably some of the greatest humans to walk this earth.
3.You can be selfish.
with your time. your food. with who you choose to be around. your money. your netflix account. the aux. the blankets.
4. Casual dating.
a bad tinder date is a rite of passage. shamelessly flirting with the cute barista. unsuccessful first dates make for funny stories. a guy once told me he liked watching me eat. you have to experience that awkward hug (or handshake) at the end of a stale date because it's a feeling you'll never forget and always want to.
5. NO RELATIONSHIP DRAMA.
no subtweets. no "it's fine. i'm fine. everything's fine". no going to bed angry. no crazy ex girlfriend to worry about. and, not to sound morbid, but you can't exactly get cheated on if you're not dating anyone yanno?
6. Independence.
this might sound weird, but I love doing all of my more risky things when i'm not in a relationship. chopping off 8 inches? yep. getting bangs? yep. getting my nose pierced? yep. a tattoo? that too. there's never that "_____ doesn't like that" or "maybe I should check with _____ first" to hold me back. I love this because the only person who really needs to approve is you (and your mom. @mom, sorry again for all the surprise piercings over facetime). If you chop all your hair off and it looks bad (it did.), then you're the only person who has to deal with it. 100% responsibility 100% of the time. I dig it.
7. You answer to no one. Except your mom.
ex. today I woke up, decided on a whim that I wanted to spend the day in austin by myself, and did just that. I'm writing this post in a coffeeshop I found off some side street, and I get to do whatever I want. I decide when I go home, what I'm doing later, and where i'm going to take myself for dinner tonight. NOT that people are dictators in relationships, and no, i'm not saying Chad from Kappa Alpha is Mussolini, but there is a level of freedom that isn't always available in a relationship.
8. You figure out this whole "self love" thing.
ha! I haven't. there's no such thing as a finish line you get to dramatically cross in slow motion on this race to self love. I am without a doubt a work in progress and always will be, and that's something that i'm finally learning to accept.
9. Girl's Night.
you already know.
10. Taking yourself on dates.
you think i'm kidding? I haven't seen a movie by myself, but I swear i'm not above it. I try to make time at least once a week to take myself somewhere nice. me and emily schulte have discovered so many new coffeehouses together, we're the poster couple for hipster trash magazine.
trust me, this isn't supposed to come off as a whole "singles have more fun and people in relationships are miserable" kinda thing. both definitely have their perks and trust me, i've had my fair share of pity parties and 1AM phone calls with my dad because i've once again convinced myself i'll be alone forever.
this is all about learning to embrace something that seems to have a negative connotation. single doesn't mean unwanted, it means waiting for someone to come along who's worth giving up all this sweet, sweet freedom for. singleness is just another one of life's many little adventures.
there is one more thing I want to reiterate before I end this post, and that's that if I have learned anything in this period of my life it's this:
-not being in a relationship might leave you feeling lonely, but I promise you that nothing is more lonely than being with someone who you don't genuinely want to be with, so never settle-
so if you're out there feelin' blue and down on your luck because you don't have your plus one or your crush left your snapchat opened, just remember that your time is coming. so enjoy this super exciting inbetween time and take advantage of all this freedom. most importantly,
SHOW YOURSELF SOME LOVE
and remember that the world is your oyster, babygirl.
Stay rad.
-Em
