what you want vs. what society wants
It's easy to get caught up in things that we think we want because they are what society generally wants.
Have you ever bought something or did something and then wondered why you even did it in the first place? Like in middle or high school, especially middle school, when there would be these weird trends that would breakout and they didn't even make any sense. Like those SillyBandz (yeah, you bet I'm bringing those up). How many of us actually liked those as much as we thought we did? We stacked those suckers up our wrists until they cut off our circulation and for what? So Tommy in fourth period would think you were the coolest seventh grader ever because you had the guitar shaped one?
I don't think we ever really grow out of that part of us. Well, no I take that back. Some people do and I have nothing but mad respect for them. Those are the kind of people who are cool. Not ironically, but genuinely cool. It's always the ones that don't try hard to be cool that are the coolest. (That's a lot of "cool"s for three sentences, I apologize)
I was called a hipster for the first time a couple years ago and I remember cringing so inwardly that I thought my great grandmother may have felt it in Germany. I hated the idea of people seeing me as the kind of person to yell at the barista at Starbucks for spilling a flat white espresso on their vintage leather oxfords. (Ah-ha, but they wouldn't have been at Starbucks because that's too mainstream)
I understand that a lot of the things that I like, own, or do toss me underneath the social category of "hipster" (which, this whole categorizing people thing we do is a whole other issue I'll probably end up writing another post on), but I don't do any of that because it's the "hipster" thing to do. Man, I just do it because I like it. (This is one of those times when I feel the need to quote the Life is Good brand and say "Do what you like, Like what you do" because boy is that relevant) I like to take pictures on my polaroid camera, I own a few too many records, I spend unhealthy amounts of time looking for new coffeeshops, and I would kill a man if they ruined my mom jeans, but if the hipster community woke up tomorrow and decided that flare jeans were the new high-waisted, you bet you would still catch me in my Levis that go well above my bellybutton. (Mainly because flared jeans are a legitimate threat to the world around us) I don't let that portion of society define my likes and dislikes. I still want the things that I want.
I bought my first pair of Birkenstocks a few years ago and I was so freaking excited about them. I had recently started working as a hostess at a breakfast house and I had to dress pretty nice which, of course, resulted in me wearing riding boots everyday. After working 9-10 hour shifts, my feet were killing me by the time I clocked out. Result: I saved up a paycheck and purchased a piece of heaven for $135 in the form of leather sandals.
And boooooy did I get made fun of for them. Do you know how many times the meme "what are those?" actually occurred in my life in the most condescending tone. Yeah sure, it was kind of annoying, but I didn't really mind. My feet felt like they were walking on pillows and they worked with almost everything in my closet (That could have something to do with the fact that a lot of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my grandma) but, most importantly, I loved them.
Then my senior year rolled around about a year later and, what do you know? Birkenstocks became the new thing. I walked into my World Area Studies class and mhm yeah well well well what do we have here, Becky? I thought Birkenstocks were for 80 year old women? You have awfully good complexion for someone who is on the verge of breaking her hip and/or dying.
There is nothing more frustrating than wearing a certain article of clothing and having someone look at you and go, "Oh my God, that is so basic!"
Yeah, we've all been there.
My theory behind this word is this: If you are wearing something purely because it's what everyone else is wearing then that's a relatively "basic" thing to do. But I hate that word. It's what people refer to anything that has to do with popularity and is commonly used to mask the underlying phrase "you just do that because everyone else does it" which is what's really wrong here.
Why do we do things because everyone else does it? Is it because it's just easier to do what's "in" at the time because it makes it easier to fit in to society? Are we all just desperate to get by in our social lives and know that people will accept you more if you look like them? You don't see many 50 year olds all wearing Juicy sweats (Thank God) and Kendra Scott necklaces, so maybe this is just a teen and young adult thing. This makes me wonder if this has something to do with emotional development. I think we are all so lost on the inside sometimes, torn between trying to figure out who we are while simultaneously trying to adapt and figure out where we fit into society (and on that note, should we fit in?), So we think "hmm maybe if I just wear this type of shoe or this brand of clothes, people aren't going to notice I have no idea who the hell I am." It really is the most brilliant and obvious form of camouflage ever, because who's going to notice you're different if you look the same?
I'm here to tell you that being different is cool. (Back at it again with the C word) I admire those people I see walking around wearing fishnet tights or disco boots because you can just tell they're dressing for themselves. They radiate self confidence and they look like such powerful and inspirational women. It's the same for men too. I have a friend who puts so much pride in how he dresses. He's the kind of guy to waltz down the hall among the khaki shorts and Rowdy Gentlemen t-shirts brilliantly dressed in a $400 jacket and a pair of pants that probably cost more than my entire outfit because he just wants to. It's amazing and he continues to show all of our friends up at every formal event ever. Right on.
And on the contrary, why should we shame others for doing the things they love or wearing the things they want under the assumption they're doing it for shallow reasons? I don't mean to sound all righteous and mighty about this because I am guilty of it too. It's easy to see something we don't like that happens to be a trend at the time and automatically think negative things about the person. For example, I was walking around on campus and I saw this guy wearing a pink Vineyard Vines polo with blue whales all over it and I was thinking to myself how there was no way someone could see that in the store and think "Wow, that is truly a beautiful shirt. I want to spend actual money on this and wear it for no one else but myself." BUT that is an assumption I should not have made. He could have genuinely liked that polo shirt (Though it would come as a serious shock) and it's wrong to make assumptions like that when I don't want to wear an ACDC t-shirt and have people think I don't even listen to them and that I'm just doing it to look like a badass. It's a two way street and I think we often times forget that.
If you wear something that you genuinely like and it so happens to be something that a lot of people have or wear then heck who cares? I mean seriously why does it matter? Is someone else's brand of tennis shoes effecting you personally? Nope. Not at all. (Well, unless you get kicked in the shin by someone and that little Nike swoosh is embedded in your skin then I guess you can be upset)
I know it can be really hard to want the things you want, especially when society doesn't seem to share that particular view or statement. It can be uncomfortable to walk out of the house wearing something you know people might look at and question, but you're also going to be admired by a lot of people. Nothing says "hey, I rock" better than having the courage to do the things everyone else is too scared to do.
There's also a whole other category about fitting into society's "moral standpoint" on things, but that is a rather lengthy conversation I am realizing I can't fit into this post without boring you even more already so perhaps you'll catch another post similar to this.
Anyways, what I'm getting at, is that it's okay to want what you want. Society may want all white bed decor from Urban Outfitters this week and all black everything the next. You don't have to. You get to choose whatever you want, whenever you want. That's the joy of being a free thinking human being.
Above all, it's important to remember that society is what we make of it. Society isn't the individual, but the individual helps to make society. If we all work towards it, we can become a society that promotes diversity, beginning with something as simple as dressing the way we want to or doing the things we want to do.
So to quote Life is Good once more:
"Do what you like,
Like what you do."
