what pain do you want?
There's this modern day philosopher/self help dude/total badass that writes articles that I practically inhale. In one of his writings he asked one of the most thought provoking questions I have ever read:
"What pain do you want?"
Yeah you read that right. What pain do you want?
I saw this and I instantly was like um okay is this about to spiral downhill into some weird Fifty Shades of Grey inspired kink questionnaire because if so consider me THERE. (Just kidding, that's weird. And the movie was almost as awful as the acting)
But it wasn't about Red Rooms and emotionally damaged men. It was a unique response to the age old question, "What do you want?"
And it seems like everyone has roughly the same response.
We want to be happy. We want to fall in love. We want to live a carefree and easy life. To have money, a big old house, nice clothes, and a rockin' bod. Overall, simply to be the person who catches everyone's eye and heart because we're just so gosh dang amazing, right?
It's okay to want that. I want that. It's because it's easy to want that. So what now? Is some dreamboat guy going to just saunter up to me on the street one day and toss me the keys to a Mercedes and tell me he'll see me at our mansion for dinner later that night? ( HA. I wish.) Do we just wait for all of these things to magically happen because we simply want them to?
In the long run it's the things that we want bad enough to work for, to suffer for, that are what we truly want.
Everyone wants a great body. Washboard abs, calf muscles that form 90 degree angles, buns of steel, rippling arm muscles-whatever suits your fancy. However, not many people are willing to put in the work that is necessary to achieve that. It's easy to say that you want toned muscles and less body fat, but only a portion of people are prepared to hit the gym everyday, wake up early in the morning to go for a run before school or work, swap out cupcakes for carrot sticks, or opt out of doing things that are unhealthy for their body. If you want that dream body, you have to want the soreness, pain, and kale that comes with working to achieve it.
Another one that I often see and hear is people wanting to travel. Sure, everyone wants to get on planes and fly to new and exotic places to sip margaritas and tan on foreign beaches, but it's no piece of cake. It costs money for starters, so you have to be willing to save, which means sometimes turning down dinner dates with our friends and not buying those jeans no matter how much they make your booty pop. And then there's the actual traveling itself. How many people are willing to struggle to communicate in a language they barely know in a place that doesn't speak English or are okay with living out of a suitcase for weeks or months on end? You get lost, you miss your train, things don't always go the way you want them to go and that can be really freaky when you're not in a place you're familiar with. That might be right up your alley, I hope it is because maybe we can go on a trip together, but the number of people who really want to travel diminishes quickly as reality cuts into the fantasy.
This question can be applied to almost anything. Wanting a lot of money but also having to want the 50+ hour work weeks, morning traffic, long nights at the office, and not spending money on frivolous things. Wanting a great relationship but also having to want to endure the awkwardness that comes with communication or the willingness to open up emotionally to another human being. You get the point, right?
Ever since I saw that question last year, I have thought about it countless times. I find myself walking around campus and seeing girls with great bodies and I'm like wow hey I want one of those (their bodies...not, like, them) and then I'm like okay Emily well then for starters you're on your way to go buy Panda Express in the dining hall so lets turn around and start making some sacrifices now, huh? I question myself a lot more when I catch myself mentally saying "I want..." because you gotta ask, "Do you really want that or is this something you're just going to complain about not having and then not do anything to try and actually achieve it?" Which, just like everyone else, I'm guilty of sometimes.
But doesn't that just sound depressing when you think on it? Imagine spending your whole life wanting things you don't even really want. (Sorry, pessimistic me decided to say hello for a second)
Anyways, I have found that something I want more than anything is to write. That was a relatively easy one to pinpoint. I endure long nights to finish essays, stories or, in this case, a blog post. There is something so unbelievably stressful yet exhilarating about a blinking cursor on a blank screen or a blank page in my notebook. That moment when my fingers are hovering the keys and I'm about to start typing is like the moment before the starting pistol goes off at the olympics. Each poem or post or story is like a new race and each time I finish one it's somehow even more satisfying than the last. I love everything about writing and how there is something thrilling about the pressure and stress and it's in those moments where I want to throw my laptop at the wall (I don't mean that, baby, I'm sorry) or I'm tossing my 18th piece of crumpled paper with a few words scribbled on it into the wastebasket that I realize that I'm right where I want to be, doing exactly what I want to be doing. That's where my passion is. I can feel how much something as simple as writing means to me when it drives me to the point where I actually want to rip my hair out because of it.
So yeah, I guess the pain really is the pleasure. (Don't worry I'm still not about to go on some Fifty Shades of Grey tangent)
It's all about wanting the things that you want but wanting them so badly that you want everything that comes with it, specifically the pain you must endure to achieve it. Those are the things to chase after.
So there's your food for thought. Think on it...
What pain do you want?
Stay rad.
-Em
