Mar 28

Mar 28 giving up + giving in

At what point is giving up okay?

Ah yes, the inner motivational speaker in all of us just threw a fist in the air and cried out, "Never!", but it's time to ask ourselves if there are times when it's okay, or even encouraged, to throw in the towel and call it quits. How much of our lives are wasted on things or people that we don't really need in our lives? Do we stay in unhealthy situations just because we're afraid to let go? If our cells are replaced every seven years are we really a completely different person that we were a decade ago? How would deep fried butter taste?

Okay, sorry to hit you with all of these thought provoking questions right up front, but these have been on my mind a lot this week. (Especially the deep fried butter one...sorry it's rodeo season)

In very simple terms, think back to high school or a time you had a crush on someone (and try not to cringe). It's like one moment you're plotting how to "accidentally" run into them in the hallway and daydreaming in math class about you guys making out and suddenly *poof* you're over it. Not interested anymore. Did they reject you? Did you just realize it was never going to work out? Did you just give up? Now you're zoned back in on reality, you have a D in Algebra, and your radar is onto the next potential relationship.

This happens all the time, I know from personal experience. (except it was a C and it was in Pre Calculus and actually you know what boys have nothing to do with that; I'm just really bad at math).

In more complex situations, it's like being in a toxic relationship, whether that be romantically or friendly.

Like when you have a friend and that friendship is crumbling. You both know it. The fights are becoming more frequent and it's like every week there is something new to add into the mess that is your relationship. You find yourself continuously wishing it could be like "old times" and that is about the only thing keeping you going; that little sliver of hope that maybe things are going to turn up and everything can go back to being sunshine and rainbows.

But they don't.

People grow. They change. I change, you change. We aren't always meant to spend our entire lives with the same people. This is something that I'm truly starting to understand and it's been rough. If college has taught me one thing (other than how to get ready in less than five minutes every morning and that 10 AM is the new 5 AM) it's that I simply do not have time for people who do not make a positive contribution in my life. There are so many other things that I am concerned with and because of that, it's caused me to majorly reevaluate the relationships I have with the people around me and back home. Life can kick your teeth in and it's important to be with friends (and hopefully a dentist) that will be there for you.

It's hard to move on and let go. It's the goodbyes that hurt us, and the ones we have to make ourselves can be the most painful.

One of the hardest decisions to make is deciding when to try harder and when to let it go.

Whether that be when you've been running on the treadmill and you're nearing those last five minutes and you really just want to hit that big red STOP button or when you're pouring all of you into someone or something and you finally hit that point where you don't know if all this work is or is going to pay off. It can be rough, man. It can be a real mess.

The cold reality is that sometimes we just have to stop. If something is going on and looking into a future where whatever it is continues and you find yourself unsatisfied then it's okay to stop.

There comes a time when you just can't do it anymore. It doesn't always mean that you physically cannot go on; usually it's realizing that you're too emotionally drained. Sometimes it's just recognizing that you can't keep doing this to yourself. it's unhealthy. It can be incredibly difficult to look at a situation and ask yourself if your efforts are paying off or if it's a waste of time and energy. I always tell myself and others to just listen to their gut because it's usually right. Your head thinks too much and your heart feels to much. The gut is a sweet blend of the two.

Giving up does not mean you're weak. Society has constructed this idea that giving up in any form is weak and a poor choice. Which, to be fair, is basically the groundwork of The American Dream and the idea that you can achieve anything through hard work (And am I the only one that sees the huge flaw in that? Like how you can try as hard as you can and still not achieve the end goal?). Sometimes giving up means you recognize that this is not a person/thing/place/state of mind that you want or need to be in anymore or that you can prosper in other areas of your life instead of that specific one. That takes strength to do, and even more to act on it.

So yeah, giving up can be good sometimes. Kind of like I think I'm going to give up on thinking fried butter could ever taste like anything other than a glorified crunchy heart attack.

Ah, yes, sorry for the heavier thoughts on this post, but then again I'm not all that sorry. You weren't gifted with that beautiful brain of yours to just not use it.

Also, this is the season of lent so maybe instead of giving up soda or chocolate why not give up something with a bit more of a longlasting benefit...like a toxic piece of your life?